I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
