First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize