the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
