Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Text me some of your sweat
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