Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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