Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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