what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
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