I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
