shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
