THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
