I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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