You really coming over, don't trick.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
