Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
whose parrot is this?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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