ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
