you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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