Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
