so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
