Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
