i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
