and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
