I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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