Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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