community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
