Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
