Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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