Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
