if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
and you fell through a lawn chair
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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