sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
