Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
