He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
