Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
