Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
