What a fucking waste of an outfit
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
