Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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