u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
