is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Your cock deserves a montage
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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