im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
