and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
