its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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