All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
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The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
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I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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