Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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