I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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