All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
