Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
