it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
