so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
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I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
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Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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