Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so that wasnt chicken after all
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
there was a trapeze. enough said
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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