I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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