oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
