I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
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If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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