She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
