Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
