just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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