Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize