tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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