what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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